The IVF Club

A Personal Blog About IVF Treatment & Infertility

IVF Cycle #11

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Well another day, another transfer. I am now up to cycle number 11. I thought it would never happen to me but it has. I can’t believe I am up in the double digits now. I don’t have a good feeling about this one either.

I have a feeling that I ovulated a day later than what my clinic thinks I did.  I noticed a stronger LH surge on my ovulation test strip a day after my blood test at the clinic.  Which means I think the clinic has put a Day 5 embryo, four days after ovulation instead of 5. Somehow I do not think this is a good thing. Next time I am going to insist on having a trigger injection so at least the clinic can be sure of when I am ovulating.

On top of that when I went to the clinic and spoke to the Embryologist, the scientist told me that the Embryo survived the thaw but was only 80% okay.  Apparently this is not a bad thing as the cells are amazing in rejuvenating themselves and the clinic sets a limit on what is and isn’t acceptable.  After 10 cycles, it was the first I had heard of it.

My next piece of evidence is that I don’t think the clinic tests the lining of my uterus.  They must evaluate when they do they transfer but I can’t say I have ever seen them measuring the lining.  In talking with a friend of mine who got pregnant after her second attempt at IVF, she tells me that she had a different protocol. They measure her lining before they proceed with the transfer and they don’t give her a blood test! All I ever seem to have are blood tests. The clinician at my last test was unable to find a decent vein (mine have gone into hising now) and left me in the seat while she went for help to find it. Trouble is she left me with with a strap on my arm for nearly 10 minutes – apparently that is not a good thing and makes the veins even harder to find.

And don’t let me get started about the blood test I had before that.  This was just a simple little test for lupus etc which I have had before but they thought they might just do again.  I think they extracted eight vials of blood that day and I recently received a letter informing me that they were unable to get any results from my blood and I have to go in again so they can redo the test.

One might think after reading this blog that I am over IVF.  I think I nearly am. I think I might do one more stimulated cycle before giving myself a well deserved break.

IVF: Over $40K and Counting

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A quick calculation of all my medical costs for IVF over the past few years reveals that we have spent over $40,000 in medical treatments in our attempt to have a baby. The costs include 6 fully stimulated cycles and 4 frozen embryo cycles and we still don’t have a little baby to hold, love and cherish.

Of course, I have been quite fortunate in that I have private health insurance. This, in combination with the fact that the Australian government reimburses some of the costs of IVF treatment, means our true out of pocket costs have only been around $13.5K dollars over the past few years. Of course, this is still a lot of money when you are on a tight budget. When I compare this to the costs in some other countries the cost is quite low so I have been quite lucky (or unlucky to have done this so many times).  Of course, the level of funding will be reduced this year so my costs will increase.

So at the moment, the total cost has been just over $13.5 thousand but if I added in the cost of acupuncture, Chinese herbal medicine treatments and multi-vitamins (such as folate, omega 3, CoQ10 and Vitamin C) that my husband and I have consumed, then the cost could easily be another ten thousand dollars. In fact, I am sure my husband would have the amount listed somewhere in his MYOB accounting software. It might be a bit odd but yes my husband he likes to keep track of every single dollar we spend.  Fortunately, he doesn’t complain about how much we spend on IVF.

Other costs that can not be measured in pure financial terms include:

  • The cost of retail therapy after experiencing an IVF failure
  • The emotional impact of repeated failures
  • The impact of your social life and putting aspects of your life on hold
  • The impact it has on friendships and the working environment (I confess my career has been on standy since we decided to go down the IVF route)

IVF Cycle Ten

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This month I really thought that there was a possibility I could be pregnant even though I had been negative about it happening this time.  My negativity stemmed from the fact that this month I ovulated later than normal and then somehow my hormones surged for 3 whole days before I actually ovulated.  As my body was behaving differently to normal, I decided to change the number of embryos transferred from two to one. The logic being not to waste the embryos I had.  I really felt that my body was conspiring against me for this cycle to get pregnant.

However, some positive things occurred which lead me to think this time could be different. My period was 3 days late – a pretty rare event. I didn’t develop acne. I didn’t feel bloated.  I’ve been making some positive changes to my lifestyle – getting more sleep, having regular acupuncture and taking Chinese herbal medicines twice daily.  It also seemed quite plausible and after 10 IVF attempts, surely it was my turn to fall pregnant. I also made a big personal decision and decided not to put my life and career on hold until I got pregnant.

Unfortunately, Aunt Flo decided to arrive yesterday. So its now back to the drawing board again!  As much as I was filled with anticipation, I have learned not to get excited or upset about the possibility of getting or not getting pregnant.  Its funny but my initial failures have been quite disappointing.  Each subsequent failure seems to have gotten harder and harder to bear.  But now it is less difficult.  Whilst I would still dearly love to have a little baby and am upset at the thought of never having a baby of my own, I can’t let it control me.  IVF has almost become this thing that just happens to me.  I have no control over it.  Maybe it is just surrendering to life as it happens moment by moment.

One or Two Embryos

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After surging LH levels for 3 days and ovulation now probably occurring today, I am concerned that the length of time between ovulation and my next cycle will be short and that my body will not have enough time to support the embryo that is planned to be implanted on Friday. 

Maybe I am being paranoid but I don’t want to put my little blastocysts at risk.  We’ve had 10 cycles now (although I am losing count) so any problems could mean yet another cycle to go through.  Even worse, we had planned to have 2 enbryos transferred. Now I am reluctant to have both implanted as my cycle has been really strange this cycle.

For a start, I noticed on day 13 that there was a slight surge in LH levels but not enough to say I was ovulating. Every day after until Saturday, there had been no surge and now I have surged for 3 days.  My basal temperature also tells me that I have not yet ovulation. Whilst it is normal for me to ovulate a little late, the fact that my LH levels have been surging for so long is not normal.

I am putting the interruption to my cycle down to the fact that I had been travelling early last week and severely lacked sleep due to the travel in different timezones and the lack of comfortable bed.

So the question is do I change my consent form from 2 embryos to 1 or do I just skip this month and start again the following month?  We really haven’t had much luck in the baby department so far so I am reluctant to put my little embryos at risk and head back to the baby making factory for yet another round of IVF.

The IVF Waiting Game

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Well I am officially in the 2 week waiting zone but the reality is, when you are doing IVF, every aspect of your life can become a waiting game.  And it’s a game that is not always fun.

The problem with IVF is that all one ever does is WAIT! Your life becomes measured in units of time.

You wait to get your period so you can start IVF.  You wait day after day to ovulate so the frozen embryo can be transferred.  Yout wait until it can be transferred. You wait for your next blood test. You wait for your next ultrasound appointment. You do the two week wait. You wait to get pregnant. You wait before you do the pregnancy test. You wait for the fertility clinic to call you back. You wait for those test results even though most times you already know the answer.

You wait to start the contraceptive pill. You wait to start the nasal spray. You wait to start injections. You wait to do the final injection.  You wait to have sex so the sperm is at it’s peak. You wait for Egg Retrieval. You wait for embryo transfer. You wait to hear news about the rest of your fertilization rates so you know how many you have left on ice. You wait to get your period.

You wait until you are in a better emotional state to tell your friends and family the outcome. You wait for the grief to disappear. You wait until you can get your next appointment. You wait another month before can start again. You wait for it to be your turn to be pregnant. You wait for your weight to return back to normal after all the weight gain from ferility medications. You wait for your skin to return back to normal because the fertility medications have made your nose look like Rudoph the Red nose reindeer. You wait in a job you no longer enjoy just in case you might be pregnant.

I don’t know about you, but I feel I’ve waited long enough! I just want a positive outcome. Four more days til my next blood test.  Waiting. Waiting. Waiting. Waiting.